Marvin Pockette

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Marvin Pockette

Post by LeBron James on Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:17 pm

(Superhero/Supervillain/Rouge Forum)
Name: Marvin Pockette
Birthday and Age: July 30, 1995; 18 years old
Gender:Male
Super Name (Optional): He doesn't have one
Morality: Rouge
Personality: Hes a nice guy unless you are mean to him.
Description/Appearance: Handsome
Costume Description (Only if your character has a costume):
Powers: Flight and Mind control
Skills/Talents: Sports and killing
Flaws: Murderous
Special Weapons (Optional): Tahmahok,C4,Claymore,Semtex,Grenade,Ak-47
Pets (Optional): Attack dog
Birthplace: Cali
History: did not have parents.
Role-Playing Example: I dont Know
Other:


Last edited by LeBron James on Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:14 pm; edited 2 times in total

LeBron James

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Re: Marvin Pockette

Post by Moose on Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:38 pm

Okay... lets start at the top.
Can we have more detail on the personality? At least a paragraph, 4 or more sentences please. Same with the Appearance.
*sighs*
Okay, you have to have Flaws. Everyone has flaws, even heros/rouges. At least 3, please.
Where in the U.S.A? You really cant be born in the entire United States of America.
Everyone has a history as well. What were his parents like? Where did he grow up? Was he good as a child? 5 or more sentences please
And the role-playing example... You have to have one. I am not going to sit here and explain EVERYTHING to you, just ask your sister if you can't figure it out yourself... or PM me, or look at other peoples forms... preferably your sisters. (she is very literate) Or look at mine >>>>

http://upupandaway.forumotion.com/t8-collin-henry-barker

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keira - villain - 18-ish
Collin Barker - Hero - 22
John - Hero - 24
Tony Stark - Hero
Peter Parker - Hero
Jessica (Jessie) Summers - Villain - 19

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Moose
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Re: Marvin Pockette

Post by Herbert on Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:48 pm

You still need more on the personality. And, if you're going to have killing for a talent/skill,  nice wouldn't be a very good thing to put for his personality.
Handsome and dashing isn't an adequate description.
Killing everyone he sees isn't an acceptable power, as it would definitely be considered power play. (And no one wants their characters dead)
He needs to have flaws. A minimum of three. Personally, I would count murderous as a flaw.
You need to specify his birthplace.
Everyone has parents. He needs a history.
You still need an RP Example.
I went through all of this with you, what gives? And yes, as Tony said, please look at some examples of forums. Oh, and make sure to post a message saying "Edited" when you edit the forum, not come running up to my door, bang on it, and yell, "NOW CHECK MY FORUM".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Lenka Panagakos - 21 - Eos - Hero
Herbert West x 30
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Re: Marvin Pockette

Post by Moose on Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:12 pm

*sigh*
Okay... After you edit, please post that you edited.

Mind control is also power play. Mind reading would be acceptable, probably. Again, with the personality please be more descriptive. Can you add two more flaws please? And the Role-play example, you have to have one. I wont let you not. Either read the other Members Character forms, or their actually Role-plays. The history is short as well, please be more descriptive.

Also, I don't care how lazy you are, just please do what we suggest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keira - villain - 18-ish
Collin Barker - Hero - 22
John - Hero - 24
Tony Stark - Hero
Peter Parker - Hero
Jessica (Jessie) Summers - Villain - 19

the butt of steve rogers
avatar
Moose
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Re: Marvin Pockette

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